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Jazzmine Delgada
20 November 2015 @ 12:42 am
I can't even explain how disgruntled I am. Between the work, the food, and now a pinched cervical nerve, I am so unhappy at times with myself. I feel as though in the past, I was completely blissful of body issues and health concerns. Now that I'm fully aware of ALL of that, I find myself becoming intermittently irritated, disappointed, and just downright down on myself because of the significant backside I created. I had lost over thirty pounds throughout 2013 and through April of 2014. I felt happier, more productive, more moving. My work life was somewhat meh, but the surrounding was fantastic: I was more motivated, I was excited about the consistent weight loss, we were more active, both in our community and in the bedroom.

Then it all went to shit.

And, as having my new shiny masters, I can see what happened. I think there are times where I am still recovering from the job loss at the end of June 2014. I'm still grieving the loss of my best friend's mom. I'm still struggling to find myself with a decade of experience and being unlicensed, but working swing shift to support my partner's schooling. I'm flying to and from Florida more frequently, and dammit, I just don't care.

But yesterday, I was officially diagnosed as having a pinched cervical nerve. So once again, I try to get myself motivated, and instead, I attend two classes and injure myself so severely that I'm out of commission for six weeks. And now it could be through the end of this year. I've already taken steps to cancel my gym pass from renewing in the new year. I think I need to do some re-evaluation.

There are times where I wonder if things truly were that awesome two years ago, or even back in 2011 when we had our monies and could do what we want. I've become so jaded and angry, and now, I feel as though the addition of a new injury is yet ANOTHER reason I'm stuck at my set point of 238-242. My license says 220. I want to get back to that. I want to surpass that.

Part of me knows I need to buckle down and maybe just walk a lot. Try to find something on Netflix or audiobooks and just walk to get moving. Maybe I won't be able to do kickboxing or spinning right now, but I could still try to do more moving. I'm working myself into sickness; thankfully, I've been pretty healthy so far, but it's only so long before my body puts me down.

There's this vitriol that bubbles up inside of me every so often. I worry about my parents, these constant trips down and being in and out of rehab. We struggle during payday, me hoping to have enough to cover our bills as I continue to pull mortgage out of savings. My house is in a state of disarray. My relationship is functional, but tiresome. And now, a shoulder-but-not-shoulder injury.

I keep trying to be positive. I know I lost the weight before, so I can surely do it again. I've been under a ridiculous amount of stress. My parents and flying aren't helping no one. My company folding and owing me thousands of dollars didn't help my financial well-being. I try to be compassionate and kind to myself.

But there are times where it's healthier to just be downright mad. And to be dedicated to making changes once this settles down. I see how my parents' healths have failed them because they've failed their healths. I don't want this for my future marriage or our children. I can get back to where I was in 2013...

... but right now, I'm a miserable bitch with a pinched nerve.
Current Mood: angryangry
Current Music: TV in the living room...
Jazzmine Delgada
11 October 2015 @ 11:58 pm

I still haven't recovered fully from the shoulder injury/ weird sleeping thing that I did to myself a few weeks ago.  There hasn't been gym or kettlebell time, as I'm worried about injuring myself further. While my left shoulder and arm ache by the end of the day, I can now look up as well as to the right, which is much better than a week ago. I'm hopeful this means I'm finally on the mend.

I've been conscious of my food choices during this period of inactivity. We're also being conscious of our food budget, making the meals and stretching them as far as we can. I went over budget this week (coffee was on sale! I bought all the coffee!), so have a little over $38 to do food on Friday. But with how we've planned, we might just need to be in meat and we can use our staples to make the food last.

There's chicken cacciatore in the crockpot right now, and I'm sure it'll yield six servings. It's almost a game, trying to make combinations and seeing if it fuels us long enough.

I've continued to see fluctuations during the week in weight, but today is official. 239.8! Back in the 230s! So even if I'm not as active, I'm continuing to see some loss just by monitoring food intake. It could also be that we have been moving and packing things to put in my parents' condo, so the extra cardio of stairs has probably accidentally helped this week.

Until my shoulder figures out what it's doing, I'm probably going to stay out of the gym scene. But healthy food, some prep work, and knowing what is to be expected is all i can plan for right now...

... slowly but surely, I'll get back there.

Jazzmine Delgada
03 October 2015 @ 04:24 pm
While I haven't made it to the gym since last week due to some type of shoulder injury, we have been mindful of our food. I came back a little bit ago from doing our grocery shopping. I again swept out some change, paying for groceries at Giant with $5.88 in pennies, nickels, and dimes. To me, this doesn't count.

What DOES count is the price of food at Aldi versus Giant. I made a big list of what we needed/wanted. Not only did we need food, but we also needed to reload our pasta stash, as well as get paper towels, sponges, and dish soap. I manipulated the lists and moved things around. My budget was $75. If I had purchased everything at Giant, it would've been $96.77, which is $21 over budget. That simply wouldn't do.

So I hit Aldi first. And comparatively saved a LOT of money. Though my bill at Aldi was $29.45, I saved a boatload compared to Giant's prices. Almond milk was 40 cents cheaper. Gallons of 2% were 70 cents cheaper. Whole wheat hamburger buns were $2.10 cheaper!

All in all, I spent $29.45 at Aldi and $39 at Giant (the $5.88 doesn't count since it was loose change, so the $39 came out of my debit card), bringing out total food budget to $68.45, almost $7 below budget!

I think it's somewhat ridiculous that I'm this excited over saving $7. But at this point, staying within budget is CRUCIAL to our survival.

We'll see what happens next week. It's payday (THANK GOD) so we'll see if I can keep to the $75 budget. I know that $75 is somewhat high, but it's paying for all of our lunches and dinners, plus any non-food items like the sponges or I also had to buy toothpaste. So hashing that out, it's $75 for two people for 2-3 meals/day, roughly $2.60/meal only counting lunch and dinner. My partner doesn't typically eat breakfast and minimizes lunch, so that's still not bad for homemade food that last us awhile. Plus keeping us supplied in paper goods, toiletries, etc.

Because I was curious, I added up the food items between the two recipes. All food, not including the toothpaste and paper etc, comes to $54.89. Now that's TOTALLY not bad for feeding two adults two meals a day for a week!

Right now, a homemade healthy meatloaf is in the oven. We'll gnaw off that for a few days. Then we have crockpot pulled pork, crockpot chicken cacciatore, and then a torta made from leftover pulled pork will be made Saturday. We're cooking roughly every two to three days, then throwing in fruit and other things to round out the meal. We made crockpot chicken and dumplings and it gave us EIGHT meals.

I know this is challenging, but this is part of trying to be healthy and budget conscious. And maybe next week we'll have those fish tostadas and meatballs and other things to keep it moving. I realized last night that his family picnic is coming up, which is always somewhat agitating for the budget. But as of RIGHT NOW, I can make pumpkin whoopie pies. Somehow, I have all of the ingredients in my house. HUZZAH!

Off to work more overtime, but my house is smelling awesome because of this meatloaf...

... so excited about everything!
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Wind rustling outside...
Jazzmine Delgada
26 September 2015 @ 04:59 pm
It started with my Sunday spin, then I did kickboxing on Thursday and a full schedule of kettlebells yesterday. I slept horribly last night, so did not get up this morning to go back to the gym. I plan on going tomorrow morning.

However, I've gone grocery shopping, am currently making homemade ketchup, and have a slew of healthy meals lined up starting tomorrow. It's our five-year anniversary, which is mind-blowing in its own regard. I'll make lamb sausage meatballs with wheat spaghetti and might have some wine tonight.

My left shoulder still hurts, but feels more tight from working out than pain from injury. My back feels tight and toning, which I find pleasant.

I think I'm going to put my office back together so we can get to the treadmill easier, and eventually start decorating with the inspirational quotes I had picked out.

We'll see what I weigh tomorrow. I saw a four-pound loss earlier this week, but I know these things fluctuate. So tomorrow, I'll weigh myself, don my exercise clothes, and head back to the gym, all to start a new week.

We might celebrate tonight with froyo. I can't say that would be a horrible thing...

... froyo can never be horrible.
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Traffic outside with the fan spinning inside...
Jazzmine Delgada
21 September 2015 @ 12:23 am
I didn't want to go this morning. My shoulder still felt tight from Friday's orientation to kettlebells. I tossed in the bed, debating trying to go to class or just blame the shoulder. Then I realized that's what I was doing: blaming.

I donned my clothes and went to class, got through a 30-minute session, then went to Core, which is another 30 minutes of something. I jumped and did side planks (sorta) and left feeling generally spent.

I also gave the new class of Insanity the side-eye. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

I realize I still protect my knees, but all in all, today was an awesome day. I came home a little worse for wear, took my somewhat-hot shower, and used new shampoo. I made myself an awesome breakfast, then trooped off for ten hours of work.

And felt like a badass.

Between everything I did for work, I really feel accomplished. I felt jazzed up! Nothing could get me down, not even the Ravens losing. I completed paperwork and counted meds, helped make dinner, and generally did a lot of watching football. I also looked up recipes and typed out motivation quotes. I'll figure out how to be crafty.

I paid for toilet paper with $4.23 in change with the rest made up in bills. But $4.23 in change! From my old-new purse!

I spent three hours last night working through my coffee table (there was a lot of stuff to sort!) and then we hauled out all of our recyclables; our floor is slowly coming back in the kitchen.

Maybe it's little things. But starting with spin and ending tonight on a high note is exactly how I needed to start my week...

... here's hoping the momentum keeps moving.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Fan whirring in the living room...
Jazzmine Delgada
19 September 2015 @ 08:43 pm
We donned our necessary outfits and toddled into the quasi-gym yesterday morning. We did swings, then stupid toe taps and mountain climbers, some ab stuff, and swing, swing, swing. It was a mini-workout to familiarize us with the form needed for a proper swing. We also got a little info session about the types of things they do at this gym and the various equipment used. They have weighted ropes and I could do an assisted pull-up in the upcoming future.

I slept haphazardly and worked an overnight shift, so I'm unsure if I'm sore because of the kettlebells yesterday or catnapping on the couch for the past two days. However, Fidget is sore as well. My back and abs are pleasantly tighter and I didn't know the inside of my thighs could feel that way.

I'm somewhat worried about my knees still, but it seems like they adjust for every fitness level.

In short, I'm excited! We'll be going on Friday mornings. And I'm trying to get motivated to complement that with the other gym membership I've had and not been going to. I went to the store yesterday and finally stocked us up with some food stuffs, so hopefully, this is all a step in the right direction...

... I just need to take those baby steps!
Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: Fidget listening to Marc Maron's podcast...
Jazzmine Delgada
04 September 2015 @ 11:37 pm
After bantering back and forth with several friends, I finally made the decision to buy a kettlebell pass. I rationalized it thusly:
- Even though we don't have an exceptional amount of leftover money (read: none), I have a Way2Save account tucked away that saves a dollar every time I pay something through my debit card or electronic check. There was enough in this bank account, which I typically let pile up then use for fun snacks or gym passes, to buy two kettlebell classes.
- Fidget said he would do it with me. Which I find mindblowing.
- Fidget bought me a set of kettlebells a long time ago, but I have always been afraid of using them because of fear of injury. I wanted someone to tell me how to properly swing them first before doing my own thing.
The pass is for eight classes for $19, and these will fit in with our other healthy commitments we've made, such as my going to the gym more often. Since I've been down here, I've planned out when I can go to the gym and the kettlebell classes are offered when both Fidget and I can go.

I'm both proud of myself and a little scared of what might happen.

I always wanted to try kettlebells. Though CrossFit scares the crap out of me, I've had "kettlebell classes" on my Ideas scrap for over two years. I figured I could try kettlebells and see if they're worth it. Additionally, with my proclivity toward power lifting, I thought the kettlebells would also prove along my speed versus racing around and doing circuit training.

Both proud and scared. Proud that I went ahead and bought the passes, but scared to get back into fitness.

I'm hoping the next few days will go well; I have planned to go back to Spin on Sunday morning, and I fly into tomorrow evening. I figure I'll recap and relish being in Fidget's presence again, then doll up in spin pants, go to class, come home to shower, then begin my 40-hr work week until Wednesday. We'll relax at the beach and I will resume the healthy living lifestyle I had so toted a year ago.

I've been thinking about goals lately. I know where I'd eventually like to end up (180 would be ideal, but I would totally accept 200 at my height of 5'10"), but I wonder about short term goals and updating my tickers. At this point, I know I won't be at that 220 when I submit my picture for the Board unless application comes in January and I've lost over six pounds a month during holiday season. Clearly, a big IF. I had wanted to be thinner when I submitted to the Board. So maybe that won't happen.

My best friend from seventh grade called me a couple weeks ago for my address. He's finally marrying his girlfriend of 14+ years. Maybe that'd be a goal? Not to lose all the weight before their wedding, since I don't necessarily believe in that kind of hype. But to lose enough weight AND be healthier by June 1st of next year. I realized that's awhile off, and am not sure if it's the wedding I want to "look good for" (which doesn't even make sense and makes me somewhat nauseous to think of) or to be healthier in 10 months that a flight up and down the East Coast won't cause me too much grief.

I don't know.

However, I'm excited about kettlebells. In theory, we'll go to our orientation after we resume our life post-ocean. We'll do the orientation, maybe use our eight classes on Thursdays when we're both home. It seems as though Thursdays are protected right now; there shouldn't be shift coverage and he doesn't have class.

I DO think he'll compete with me...

... but he should know I'm a badass.
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
Current Music: Dryer beating around the clothes...
Jazzmine Delgada
I'm back in Florida again, trying to sleep too much and spend some time putting eyes on my parents. This is the first time I've seen them since my mother's surgery and to see her a foot taller is miraculous. I realize that with the hectic schedule of coming to FL, finishing graduate school, rehabbing a condo, and working swing shift, I haven't been the healthiest that I could be. However, I want that to change.

Fidget and I had made significant strides in becoming healthier people, and I know the job loss last year is what sent us into chaos. Now, however, things are settling down. He's happier without work, now getting on the treadmill more often. Our eating habits are still out of whack, but I'm hoping once we return from the ocean, we can sit down, reassess, and start making better decisions for us again.

I'm still paying for the gym pass I don't go to. However, I hope that this could change. The new job has me working four ten-hour shifts, which is fabulous. It kills the possibility of going to the gym Monday-Wednesday, but I could theoretically go Thursday-Sunday. With Fidget no longer needing the car, I won't have a complication to get to the gym. I figure even if I only exercise those four days, it'll be better than me not doing anything. And I constantly am walking/running after clients when I work, so there's activity there as well.

One of the plans is like this:
- Thursday evening - There's both Power and Kick. I love these classes, and haven't been able to attend either since I used to work Thursday evenings.
- Friday morning - They offer Power again. They also do Insanity, which I've heard is ridiculous and intimidating. I might have to watch them first.
- Saturday morning - They have group Spin, which I have missed spinning classes. It's at 0730, so I just need to get motivated and out the door by 0700 to reserve a bike. They also have Power at 0930. There's PiYo at 0830, which also makes me somewhat intimidated. I kind of wonder if I could do three hours at the gym, or if I'd get bored.
- Sunday morning - I report to work at 1230. In theory, I could do a morning Spin at 0945, Kick at 1030, come home and shower, and still report on time.
I like the options that I have with the new schedule. My gym also offers 0530 classes, but I have two reservations about it: 1.) I don't know if I'll want to get out of bed at 0500, exercise, come home and shower, and then not have to leave again until 0800 to take him to school then go to work. On Tuesdays, if I exercised at the 0530, I wouldn't have to leave my house again until 0900. I don't think I'd be motivated to do it; 2.) I think there's too much time between me showering and going to work, and I also don't know if I'd want to go to sleep around 2200 in order to get enough hours to go back to the gym. Try as we might, we're often not in bed until midnight. I'll get home from work around 2000.

The other thought is that with getting home at 2000, I will have already eaten with my clients. I can come home, do exercise for an hour (either treadmill or a DVD) and be done by 2100, shower, and enjoy the rest of my night. I don't think the 0530 classes are ever going to work for me. I'm just not a morning riser and doubt I'd put all of my effort in when I'm still half-asleep.

With how tight our money is and the new schedules, we also need to sit down to do some actual meal planning. He won't be getting home until 1930 if he's lucky, and the last thing he'll want to do is cook something nutritious when he's been traveling for two hours. I'm trying to figure out if we can cook meals for Monday and Wednesday nights for him, lunches for both of us, then he'd cook dinner the other days I'm working. The only day I can think this would work would be Saturday. If we're still exhausted, I don't know if we'll be doing this.

I know it just needs time. I saw a groupon-ish thing for Kettlebell classes, which I have always been interested in and never got the umph to go. A friend from work said she'd be my workout buddy for those. I own kettlebells, but never wanted to use them since I wasn't sure on my form yet. It's for eight classes, which isn't too horrible, and we could go Saturday mornings. It'll probably strengthen our friendship.

I need to wait. I'm here until Saturday, then work four ten-hour days, then drive to Ocean City for a couple nights. We'll return on Sunday, then I'll work again Monday-Wednesday. I have scraps of papers and colored pens abound about trying to make a schedule- even if we don't follow it, it will be good to put the work in. We're living on a ridiculously tight budget right now; I know I need to go what I did when I was in PA and actually plan things out in order to have something to follow. Like when we make meals, when we go shopping, how much money to spend. It's having guidelines that will help us get through this interim period before I'm fully licensed and earning the monies I need to in order to get by.

By finally looking at my new schedule, I will have both transportation and the ability to get to the gym and not interfere with his salary. I really won't have an excuse any longer. He's home more- I need to get away from him sometimes! So I could walk/run/woggle on Mondays-Wednesdays, and then hit the gym the other four days. Not saying I'm going to work out every day of the week, but there's finally the ability to, so I can take advantage of that.

A few nights at the beach might be just what I need to not think of important things for awhile. No school, no work, no parents. Just me, Fidget, some of our closest friends, and the beach to soothe my spinny brain...

... and maybe the brain will stop spinning by the time I get back to my life.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Dehumidifier running in my room...
Jazzmine Delgada
16 August 2015 @ 05:18 pm
242.6. That's one of the lower numbers I've seen this summer. I really think that my set point is this 242-243 business.

We haven't been as healthy as I would have wanted, and I know I need to get back onto that exercise bandwagon. He's quit work, and I've been offered full-time hours, so I make plans in my planner about putting stuff together and when to get back to the gym until I'm not able to Sunday-Wednesday. Our quality of life has significantly increased since he quit his job, but our celebratory practices have also got a bit out of hand.

We're working on our home, trying to rearrange furniture and put books back to where they belong. I'm trying to wrap my head around finishing graduate school and am not quite sure what that will look like.

I need to keep myself healthy and balanced. And sometimes, exercise just isn't in the right cards for that. But I can try to make better decisions, stay away from the M&Ms, and try to put my best food forward...

... whether it be in a spin class or kickboxing.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Traffic barreling outside...
Jazzmine Delgada
The original plan was to drive Fidget into work early, then go to a short spin class followed by a Power class. This all fell through.

Sometime yesterday, my left shoulder and back area started hurting a LOT. I thought maybe it had to do with my backpack being too heavy, as I hoofed it around campus. This morning, my left shoulder was bad off and now the back of my right leg hurts. The only thing I can think that attributes to is gardening on Monday- maybe I didn't support myself right when pulling weeds.

In short, I'm hurting some. There's no way I was going to be able to pedal and definitely not do squats or lift things above my head.

It's disappointing. I wanted to start this week being more active, but the classes being offered are either not interesting or not convenient.

I'm going to see about treadmilling it today, even if I'm just walking. Maybe I can get the cat to walk with me. I'm just worried with how bad my shoulder feels and how tight my leg is...

... stupid body.

EDIT: I blew up the new stability ball today, then decided today was the day to get back on the treadmill. Despite being sore, I took it wicked slow, but still got on there. 21:45, 1.001 miles, and 137.0 calories burned. Abysmal from my previous numbers, but definitely a great baseline to improve!
Current Mood: soresore
Current Music: Dryer spinning around...