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Jazzmine Delgada
I totally walked that 1.4 miles between jobs that I was planning. I ran twice last week. I even walked during a lunch break for about a mile to get into a CVS, and we did 1.2 miles on Friday walking down to breakfast.

I've spent most of today either watching football or cooking All The Things. I've made zucchini muffins and a chorizo frittata to have some variety to my morning routines. There's fresh cornbread, and rice, and crockpot chili. I'm thinking of making a jarred salad. I know I will sit down with my weekly plan tomorrow to figure out when I can run.

We're going to plan for cleaning for a Halloween party. I'm down one pound this week. There's money stabilizing around us. And there were flowers for our anniversary...

... it's good to be excited about being healthy again.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Partner watching TV...
Jazzmine Delgada
21 September 2016 @ 11:51 pm
Here's an idea. Take the bus in, drop off stuff at work, don sneakers, catch bus, then walk down after meeting. I talked about this with my partner- it's supposed to be mid-70s tomorrow and if I'll be sans three bags, it might actually be kinda nice to walk the 1.5 miles down from my third job's staff meeting to my full-time job.

This train of thought makes me wonder again. It reminds me of late 2013 when I was trying to find ways to incorporate movement into my day. I had already planned to go on a little walk around CVS to pick up cards and other things for our anniversary and his birthday, but now, it totally IS possible to walk the 1.5 miles down from the meeting. At least it'd be downhill, and heading south, it's relatively safe walking through that area of Baltimore.

Huh. Here's hoping I wake up wicked early for the early bus, drop off my stuff, grab sneakers, then head to my meeting...

... I'm really wondering if that's possible.
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: My partner typing on his laptop...
Jazzmine Delgada
21 September 2016 @ 12:05 am
I have realized I fucking hate working out. I did some research about how I used to do the work-grad school-healthy living thing and realized that, uh, I just kinda did it. I did some planning, looked at my schedule, and penciled in what I could accomplish in the time I had. My old planners are littered with little calendars with nights crossed out. I think it worked, though, because I knew in advance what I could do, and it just needed to be done. And then energy beget more energy; I was never super stoked to go to a gym class. But challenging myself, seeing what my body was capable of, and to hear myself chanting like we did when I was in NJROTC helped to continue me moving forward.

I've highlighted a box three months in the future like I did in another planner. It'll be interesting to see if changes are occurring, the small changes to build up to an overall bigger one.

I've ran several times since my last entry. I continue to not enjoy it. But I have celebrated when I first broke 200 calories in a half hour. Today, I did a mile in 18:53, which is paltry compared to what I used to do, but again, a starting point. I pushed myself tonight, telling myself I could run longer than the refrain of a song.

I ran for two minutes at level 4. I was amazed I could do it. And then my lungs checked me, so I slowed the hell down.

I think the other thing is now that I've accepted I don't enjoy this stuff, it's easier to just DO it and get it over with. Every week, I sit down with a paper with the week on it, put in my commitments, then highlight where I could spend at least 30 minutes on the treadmill. This week, there's two blocks of time highlighted. I finished one tonight.

I've also realized that I can put things on hold and it's alright to put myself first. My father went into the hospital last week, and though I was given an update earlier in the day, I still came home, ran, showered, and then called my mother at 2300 like I said I would. An hour does not make any difference in the grand scheme of things, but that hour allowed me to burn over 200 calories and enjoy a shower, which is excellent self-care.

I've begun to toy around with the idea of spin classes. I think I'm going to do these in October; I've saved up enough money to buy an actual pass, and doing spin every Sunday morning at 1000 might be an excellent routine to get into. Plus, the first class is free, so I really can't argue with that.

It's the little things we used to do that I'm trying to remember how to do in order to do them again. We walked to the library, which we hadn't done in over two years. I've been woggling at night when I get home from work. I'll do a few blocks in the middle of my workday to clear the brain and get some errands done.

Maybe this is the piece of self-care we talk to our clients about, but I haven't implemented. Again, what's an hour in 24? What's an hour really worth when I'm just hazed on the couch waiting for the time to go to bed? What's an hour really worth in a book or in cleaning or in organization? I can surely spend that hour by burning some calories and bathing myself...

... we'll see how long this can progress forward.
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Current Music: Both of us typing, typing away...
Jazzmine Delgada
I've maintained consistency for the past week, so have lost about two pounds since starting the new job and schedule. I realized I needed to work towards adding back in exercise. When I was in grad school and doing this healthy journey, I would work full-time, go to grad school, and still work out consistently. There are definite issues signing up for another gym pass: First, it would be the money. The biggest thing, however, is the scheduling aspect. While people tote that Planet Fitness is only $10/month, I feel like I don't need a Planet Fitness. I HAVE the treadmill and weights and other workout equipment in my home. The biggest thing I miss is spin class, but with my work schedule, it seems they only offer classes at 0600 (when I'm sleeping) or 1800 (when I'm working). Getting home most nights around 2200 will not allow me to get up consistently for a 0600 class. I did find one studio that would be $70 for 10 classes, which is a good chunk of change but pretty cheap when you break it down per class. Only issue is I would only be able to go to a class on Sunday mornings at 1000. This isn't horrible, though.

I keep thinking back to when I was working and grad schooling and still finding time to work out as well as spend time with my partner. It's like I want to protect Sunday mornings because it is the ONLY morning I'm not doing something; however, I would still go to a class three years ago and be able to come home and spend time with him. It's a still a work in progress. I have a stickie on my September calendar to think about purchasing the $70 pass. I really need to go to gyms to have people yell at me, which is why it worked out great at the other gym, but not having classes in the middle of the day is what is inhibiting me. I also am still scared of my shoulder/slipped disc injury, so I think I need to focus on cardio for right now.

This past Friday, I sat down with a blank calendar and scheduled myself where I knew my time would be blocked. Then I tried to schedule an hour here or there to start implementing some time of fitness back into my life. Despite really not wanting to, I donned my walking clothes and jumped on the treadmill for 35 minutes. I was still able to run! I didn't pass out! And I noticed that while I was doing that, I began having ideas and energy about other things to move around and organize in my home.

Energy begets energy.

I still keep the walking schedule I had made three years ago to document my progress. I realized that the last time I was on the treadmill was 6/24/15. Which is ridiculous that much time has come by. I also looked at old numbers compared to today's. I woggled 1.516 miles in 35 minutes, which burned 220.9 calories. I can see previously that I would burn almost double that when I first started documenting. There's some entries where I woggled for 45 minutes and burned over 700 calories!

I'm hopeful. I feel accomplished already. And maybe this truly is the start of something again. I want to get another session in sometime this week. Maybe those numbers will go down, and maybe I won't be as tired anymore...

... but right now, I'm just going to try for another woggling session this week.
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Fan spinning to omg cool me down...
Jazzmine Delgada
24 July 2016 @ 12:19 pm

Earlier this week, I felt as though I was losing weight. I felt a little jiggly. This morning when I weighed myself, I gained three pounds from last week.

Maybe too much queso fundido. Though it was also the first date night we've had in probably over a year.

I just wanted to document that. Not sure what else is going on, health wise. Wanted to give myself until the end of this month to acclimate to the new schedule. Between donuts and more Chick-Fil-A because of a client, I wonder if that's what has set me over...

... or not, but it's all I got.

Jazzmine Delgada
After the last entry, I did do a lot of food prep and preparing meals. I pretty much stayed on track throughout the week: finally fueling myself properly, as well as making sure I had well-balanced snacks so I would not eat a client. I also made sure to significantly up my water intake. It's been working relatively well. I also have been feeling my body becoming more active, between bus riding and walking through the office. I feel like it's slow, but steady progress.

We went out last night and ate crabs, the first time in four years. I'm surprised I actually lost two pounds with the amount of food (namely, s'mores!) I ate last night. I had been seeing 237 throughout the week, but it seems like Saturday eatings tip me over. I moved over two stones into the lost jar. It felt like a small accomplishment.

We decided to walk down to the farmer's market today, the first time we've been able to go in two years. Since the job loss, I felt somewhat depressed about the whole thing, and didn't really want to go somewhere when I couldn't afford to buy anything. My partner actually suggested we start going to the farmer's market as it was part of our routine previously, but also as something for us to do and be together, plus be somewhat active. It was nice to walk down with him, buy too many shallots, and celebrate finding bacon. I missed this part of our routine.

Ongoing, I think Sundays will alternate. Payweeks will go to the farmer's market (even if we only spent $35 between the two of us today), and the alternate weeks, we'll walk down to the library. It's putting something in place so we have something to do that moderately free, but gets us moving and doing something together.

We joked on the way down about where we eventually want to be weight-wise and if we wanted to enter into a contract. He's sitting at 236 right now. His goal is 200. I'd be happy to get to 200, but I know 180 is where I should really sit. However, we joked back and forth about making a contract. He started stating that if he wasn't 200 lbs by the time 7/17/17 rolled around, I could upgrade to a new model. Or we'd have to start assessing our quarterly reports.

I'm hopeful about this "new year," seeing as I'm thinking this new year started on my birthday. With the new job, I feel as though there's some hope on the horizon and we can start making lasting changes...

... I'll be sure to keep on keeping on.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Fidget rummaging for lunch...
Jazzmine Delgada
10 July 2016 @ 11:57 am

Just wanted to drop a note and document this weigh in this morning. I keep seeing between 238-242 during the week, so I wanted a real stopping point.

I'll check in later about plans for this week and what we're doing. I know I plan on doing food prep tonight, so I'll have meals and snacks planned, too...

... just a little at a time.

Jazzmine Delgada
I haven't done an official weigh-in, but I wanted to write what's currently happening with the new job. I was struggling for the first two weeks; first there was downright hunger as I wasn't fueling myself properly. Then, I had salt cravings, which I was able to remedy with increased water consumption and checking my coffee intake. (Amazing how addiction works; I had one free coffee because of it being my birthday, and that started three or four more Dunkys in the course of two weeks! No good!) Being conscious of the water helped with the specific salt cravings. I also decided to calculate how many calories I was eating, just to gage. I have never truly counted calories, and in this downtime before I have a full caseload, I decided to see if my food choices were good ones. Indeed, I was eating 1400-1600 calories by the end of my shift, which is pretty good. However, I am still struggling with wanting to eat when I come home. I made myself a hodge podge plate tonight and am enjoying a few pieces of Dove chocolate for something sweet.

I still am trying to do moderation and mindfulness. I have been researching distances and calorie counts, as well as mapping out a walking area around the new job. I have been loftily throwing around ideas of strength training during my lunch break, or waking up earlier to walk in the mornings. I've been debating about taking the elevator only halfway up and doing the rest in stairs.

I have lots of great ideas. I'm trying to remember how this originally started. First, I researched and did food. Then, I started exercising at home. Eventually, this bled into doing little things around work in order to increase activity. Finally, I got gym passes.

Overall, I'm glad I figured out the water consumption thing. Me craving salt so badly to make a can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken and then eat Saltines with it? I was definitely having some electrolyte problem, so yay science brain. Didn't even have to Google that one! Once I started purposefully drinking more water out of the giant Nalgene I always carry, the salt cravings significantly lowered. I also didn't want Dunky anymore, so that was also an improvement. I think Dunky might be either a.) an emergency need coffee or b.) a serious treat I get every two weeks or so, but only during happy hour pricing. I might be able to scournge up $1.05 on a biweekly basis. I'm sure there's enough change around here somewhere.

In any case, I'm trying to ease back into the healthy living. I have been wanting to run a new challenge at 100pounds2lose and am thinking August might be the time for me to fully be in the mindset to invest. There are three more weeks to July; my goal at this point is to focus on food, listen to my body regarding water, and fully settle into this work routine. I hope that, by August, I can begin to fully implement more movement.

We'll see. I've been rereading entries where I have been so, so angry and disappointed over the past couple of weeks. Maybe taking this slowly will incorporate more healthy options long-term. I think that is my downfall, and something common with many of my clients: to take on too much becomes overwhelming, and then the disappointment of failing without having really started.

Three weeks focused on food and water intake. August will start movement...

... I can do at least that.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Fall Out 4 on the TV...
Jazzmine Delgada
05 June 2016 @ 07:54 pm
Before we left for Florida, I decided to cancel the gym pass. Between working these ridiculous hours plus being scared about my injury, I couldn't validate continuing to pay for a gym pass I no longer used. Though it's not technically swing, it's haphazard enough that I can't guarantee I can make the classes I want to. Originally, I was keeping the pass to go to spin classes, but I had yet to get back to one. Forty dollars a month was still forty dollars a month.

I try to be gentle with myself. I knew that with the job collapse, things were going to change. That was two years ago. It's hard to imagine that it was two years ago at this point. I do think that my weight has stabilized, however. I'm hopeful that I can get back to walking, then running. My treadmill is free. I need to get the TV set up back in this room, then I can start walking again. Maybe enjoy something on TV again. A lot of my brain fell out when I was in grad school.

We just returned from Florida and now we have another cat. He's one of the reasons I'm writing in here. He's holed up in the office, so I want to make sure he knows that he doesn't just own this space. Sadie and I both sat in here, quietly, then he woke up and started growling again. We lost the use of our shower for a couple days, but I think he might be coming around. Slowly, but surely.

There's a new job offer on the horizon, a chance to finally turn around things. With planning on taking public transportation, I'm hopeful that the additional activity will finally motivate me to get moving again. I'm still worried about my shoulder, that slipped disc she said I had. It hasn't acted up for awhile, but I'm still afraid it will. However, if we can get to walking places, if I can get a walk in the mornings, I feel like the additional movement will move me forward.

A lot of shit has gone down. And I continued to try and work through it, being gentle with myself. I would express compassion to my clients when they expressed discontent over how their lives had turned around; I needed to do that for myself.

I used to walk a lot more, I used to run, I used to do DVDs and be more active. I think the only thing that had stuck with me has been the water consumption, so I'm thankful to that.

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of struggling. I'm tried of being poor.

The new job should start at the end of this month. It's a Monday-Friday position 1230-2030. With those hours, I could conceivably get up around 0900, get some exercise in and a healthy breakfast, and still be able to be on the bus by 1100. It's a lofty goal. I don't really see myself working out after 2200. However, I am hopeful that with the new job will come the stability and structure that I so desperately need. Each week on my calendar before vacation looked completely different; it was another contributing factor to canceling the pass for right now.

I started organizing the office again, trying to get some room back in here. At least the treadmill is uncovered. We still need to find the power cord for the new TV and whatever the Roku box is, but that shall come. Maybe I can get involved in some streamiing something or another and really enjoy when I'm walking again. I think one of the main issues is that my brain could no longer care about what I was watching; before I would watch HGTV and get decorating ideas. But when the money fell, it became depressing. And then my head was so full of psychological principles, I couldn't comprehend anything on TV.

It's only June. My partner and I did a three-year-in-review to see if we had improved when I had the harebrained scheme of going to grad school. He says we have; I know we have on paper. But I can look back in this journal and see where I was roughly three years ago, and I remembered it started with the food. Then I started exercising. Then I got a gym pass to have other people tell me what to do.

I've done it before; there should be no reason for me not to do it again.

I just weighed myself- granted, I usually weigh myself on Sunday mornings after I've voided before I've eaten anything. However, I still hover around the 240 mark. The scale just said 240.2 pounds.

I don't think I want to make real goals just yet. But I knew I wanted to check in. Jobs are changing, we have another cat, and for once, there's a possibility on the horizon that my life just might settle down for a spell. And with new stable money comes new hope that I will be able to work on myself again...

... even if the treadmill does scare both cats!
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Computer humming... at least the cat stopped hissing...
Jazzmine Delgada
14 March 2016 @ 09:43 pm
I started the new job today and only saw two clients. However, I found the staircase and did two jaunts up and down when I was taking my breaks.

When I was working the other job, I used the stairs All the Time. Then, that job fell through and there were no stairs besides my own.

I work on the third floor of an office building. Even if I'm only going up and down them twice or three times a day twice a week, that's still more activity than I was doing.

I do need to figure out how to fuel myself again through the work day. I may make a polenta and vegetable bake more often because of how filling it was. But I was pretty ravenous by the time I came home this evening. Maybe all of the energy I'm putting out to clients is making me hungry?

I'm excited about this. I can continue to be excited about it. I'm looking forward to seeing how the short spin class goes tomorrow night...

... here's hoping I get there.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Fidget playing Batman something on TV...